Category: Dr. Ike

Before the flu bug hit me with a vengeance, I was fortunate to see a lovely movie from Chile called “Gloria.”  What makes Gloria apropos for Psych ‘n’ Roll Radio is that the story combined two themes we’ve recently discussed and, of course, the film’s wonderful use of music, which I’ll get to in a moment.

(Here’s the NY Timereview.)

The two topics were “befriending an ex for the betterment of everyone in the family” and “abandonment.” In the movie we meet Gloria, a divorced 57-year-old, beautiful, alive, sensitive, and sensual. But she is lonely and goes to clubs hoping to find a companion. She meets silver-haired Rodolpho and a quick love affair ensues. Complications arise. Rodolpho is still attached to his ex and their children, so much so that he takes their phone calls at the most inopportune times. Gloria, on the other hand, has worked out her former attachments and has a civil if not firendly relationship with her ex. At a birthday party for him, she brings Rodolpho who is uncomfortable with the warmth exchanged between family members and without a word leaves the festivities.  Despite the abandomment, Gloria gives Rodolpho — who professes his love and begs her to take him back — another chance. He takes her to a romantic spot on the Chilean coast, but after a call by one of his children he repeats his disappearing act. Gloria, of course, is furious. But rather than allow herself to sink into dispair we watch in the final scene as she embraces the joy associated with her name as she dances to “Gloria,” a song that sums up her recent experience but doesn’t deter her love of life despite it all.

In my work, I hear the pain, confusion, and frustration that men and women have (and believe me I have experienced these feelings as well) when it comes to dating and mating. The experience of getting close, of becoming vulnerable, to open oneself up to the possibilites of love and the end of loneliness, only to have hope dashed by seemingly out-of-nowhere and incomprehensible abandonment. Often, it seems that these kinds of hurts forever end the search for love. But as in the movie, the person finds resilience and with arms stretched out to the sky tries once again.

Do you have your own story of dating and mating, relationships that ended painfully and made you want to give up on love (perhaps even decide to become a nun or monk) only to bounce back and try again. Resilience is the theme. So let’s hear your story. If you have questions about dating and mating, about unrequited love and the feelings you have in its aftermath ask Dr. Ike. He’s here to help.

(By the way, I love songs that have a name as the title. If you have some favorites let’s play them together. Here are some other songs entitled Gloria. “Gloria by Van Morrison, and a version of “Gloria,” by The Doors, and “Viva La Gloria,” by Greenday.

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